MUFS PLAYER PROFILES

Profile of Tom Wheeler

Any new player having joined the club looking for a model clubman, then Tom fits this bill. Always ready to volunteer and help out the club, even daft enough to take on the Ones captaincy in one of Sicknote's long injury lay-offs. Not only the leading spinner in the Club but a reliable and "multi-modal" batter too (i.e. can slot in from 1-10, & switch between defensive and aggressive (ask Shannon)) and gives his all in the field defying the lack of pace mother nature gifted him in those legs. A natural (t)wit.... those who have witnessed his stand-up comedy at the Holyrood Amateur Theatrical Society shows certainly would have to doff their hat at a new Chubby Brown in the making. Seriously(?) he is exceeding witty and quick to find the humour in any circumstance. Except his run-out to the invisible man at Heriots away in 2007and subsequent "good-humoured" exchange of words with the spectators in the balcony in front of his somewhat aghast parents. We found it funny (later).

Question Answer
Full Name? Thomas David Wheeler
Nickname(s)? Wheels, The Dealer, Wom
Date of Birth? 04/02/1978
Place of Birth? Brighton
Occupation? Strategy and Development Manager (allegedly) at the Scottish Parliament
Other Hobbies? Cooking, eating, drinking, live music, comedy (see also Brighton and Hove Albion)
Favourite Food? Pig’s cheek – or better still, the whole head. I’m not kidding either. (web-ed: That's Why The Wheeler loves Franks Pies (and wearing black))
Football Allegiance (if any)? Brighton and Hove Albion, naturally. (webed: surely the Brighton-born should support Stoke?)
Favourite Drink? Beer, in all its many and glorious forms (except Fosters, Carling and Tennents)
Top Film? Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Top Book? Any of the Adrian Mole books; The Art of Captaincy; The River Cottage Meat Book (webed: is there a Pig Cheek chapter?)
Fave Music/Band Numerous Glasgow indie bands of varying degrees of obscurity – Delgados, Camera Obscura, Sons and Daughters etc
Most Likely to Sing Karaoke to? (song/artist) Most likely to be elsewhere. But I’d have a go at Roll Up For The Donkey Derby (superb anti-Crystal Palace song by Attila the Stockbroker).
Fave Shakespearian Play? King Lear – always good for a chuckle
Person Most Want to be Marooned on Desert Island with and why? Richie Benaud - I could listen to him talk cricket for ever. Or, for different reasons, Mia Sara (circa 1986, ideally).
Person Least Want to be Marooned on Desert Island with and why? Michael Winner, Gary Rhodes, Ricky Ponting, Piers Morgan, Jimmy Carr, Lee Evans, Matthew Hayden, Margaret Thatcher, George Bush (either of them), any Crystal Palace fan – shall I go on?
Best Sporting Moment? Brighton drawing at Hereford in 1997 to stay in the League – onwards and upwards boys. Plus England winning the Ashes in 2005. “Harold Bishop, Dame Edna Everage, Crocodile Dundee – your boys took one hell of a beating!”
Best Personal Sporting Moment/Achievement? Getting the last man caught and bowled to beat Birmingham University by 3 runs in 1998 – my flatmate and I took the last 5 wickets for 7 to win the game out of nowhere.
Worst Sporting Moment/Achievement (personal or any)? Heriot’s away, 2007. ‘Nuff said.
Sporting Idol? Richie Benaud, Michael Atherton, Viv Richards, Curtly Ambrose, Robbie Reinelt, Bobby Zamora, Ian Shiels (webed: now then...)
Personal Motto/Philosophy? “Spin to win” – or maybe “We hate Palace”.
Significant/Tenous Claim to Fame (if any)? Germaine Greer was my tutor at university. (But fortunately the doctors managed to sew them back on again...)


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