ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN OUT-FOXED BY SICKNOTE'S SUPERSTARS

Muirhouse

Sunday 29th July saw the first Murrayfield/Dafs Presidents game take place at Muirhouse. The non appearance of several expected participants saw a ten-a-side game take place with President Yelland electing to bat first on a slow track.

There was general amazement amongst the fielders to see Tony Simpson of night bus fame opening the batting but his pinch hitting exploits earned him a quick fire 38. Sadly, the other early President's batting went cheaply with Lacey, Humphries and Dalyell (treasurer spotted on pitch sensation confirmed) and it was left to Alec Davies and Eddie Clark to rebuild the innings. They added 50 with davies retiring for an excellent 42 (if I could bat like him, not having played since last August I would be well pleased). The rest of the innings was slightly disappointing although the final pair of the Yellands (Senior and Junior) added a little light entertainment as the team totalled 137 all out. The wickets were shared around with Colin Stewart taking two scalps.

After a good tea (pies a little on the cold side), Shiels all stars commenced their reply. Dave Fisher anchored the innings as Paul Hubbard blazed away. El Presidente's side were certainly enthusiastic but didn't make the breakthroughs at the right time. When Hubbard departed for 46, the two Normans took their side to within sight of victory. There might have been an inquiry into the call of Mr Baikie when running out Colin Stewart (Alan Wells would have struggled to get home) but skipper Shiels came in to see his side home as Dalyell belied his 'golden arm' reputation with a wide. Again, the wickets were spread around and there was general concern as El Presidente clung on to two catches in the outfield. Young Yelland amused the troops with three enthusiatic overs - the long run his speciality.

It was a super afternoon topped off with beers and a trip to town for a curry. Skipper Shiels had clearly anticipated victory and made an excellent choice of venue for the celebrations.

Hopefully, we will do it all over again next year but hopefully before the holiday season sets in.

The President

WESTY KEEPS CARLTON AT BAY

Match 1 - Sat 28 April 2001 - Grange Loan

Brief highlights of the opening day draw against Carlton (in the continuing absence of the Skippers report) by IRS

MDCC put in a solid bowling performance in the face of a strong Carlton batting line-up, arguably one of the strongest we will face this season. Norman Allan emerged with most credit with figures of 13-1-34-3. The batting, however, struggled against some tight and penetrative Carlton bowling, particularly the newcomer Langton, and effectively MDCC threw-in the towel with a calamitous single-over 3-wicket collapse against Smith. A battling mid-order stand of 44 between Chris West (29 n.o) and Lindsay Towns (22) restored respectability and defiant tail-end batting from Norm Allan and Dave Fisher helped Chris secure the losing draw. Oh, and the Skipper was out first ball. Arguably the most sensational event of the day was the relevation of Simpson's geriatric fetishes.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling - Carlton 2nd XI 190-7 50 overs

MDCC Batting

MDCC CRUISE TO FIRST VICTORY

Match 2 - Sat 5 May 2001 - Muirhouse

A much improved performance from the previous week's display enabled Captain Kidd's Flying Circus to get up and running and notch up their first victory of the year.

Again MDCC bowled first and despite not being able to make early in-roads into Boroughmuir, fine economical bowling all round, in particular Richie Sorrell (11-3-21-1) and Mr Consistency-Allan (a miserly 15-7-20-2), cramped the batting side. However the Skipper topped the lot with figures of 6-0-22-4 including an over of apparent divine intervention whereby he claimed 3 Boroughmuir wickets. A miracle they exclaimed. Reports of a South African armed with a basket of bread'n'fish feeding a thronging mass of 10,000 up Ratho high street are as yet unconfirmed. In the end Boroughmuir struggled (even with a very short leg-side boundary) to 131 for 8.

A fine opening partnership of 41 broke the back of the task. The perpetrators were Andy "The Fodder Slayer" Knight (23 - before skying a flamboyant drive against aforementioned alleged "fodder") and Murdo McLeod (39 - but surely denied the season's first half-century by a small running mix-up - who when bored of collecting singles found hitting intermittant boundaries much more fun instead). Further contributions (both with the bat and repeated bizarre attempts to run himself out) came from Eddie Clark (26) and Richard Park with a hard-hitting unbeaten 28. And that was mission accomplished with 11 overs to spare.

MDCC 25 points. Boroughmuir 5 points.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling - Boroughmuir 1XI 131-8 52 overs

MDCC Batting

CLARK 50 IN VAIN VERSUS CARNEGIE AS MDCC CHOKE

Match 3 - Sat 12 May 2001 - Pitreavie, Dunfermline

With a cracking day's weather, the sound of cracking whips should have been heard in the "Muffs" dressing room as a golden chance of victory was blown.

The day had started so promisingly for MDCC with a wicket for Richard Park whose very first ball drew the batsman's edge for Chris West to generously flip the chance for Martin Stone to pouch. The match swung even further Muffs way with the other Dunfermline Carnegie opener run-out by a direct Clark shy in the very next over. However, Muffs relaxed their grip and a fighting 51 from the young Walker began to take the match away. Muffs tightened up with a spell of excellant bowling from flu-ridden Norman Allan (the star again with a spell of 15-3-32-3 - all the more remarkable as he had conceded 3 boundaries in one early over) ably supported by Dave Fisher and a final flourish from Richard again. Carnegie finished on a total of 155 for 8 from 52 overs. Or should have it been 151- did the umpire signal 4 too soon? Lindsay thought so.

The MDCC reply started promisingly - both Murdo and Andy started well enough with a couple of boundaries each but they were soon to depart for 12 and 13 respectively. Then slowly and surely "Fast" Eddie Clark and "Sicknote" Shiels grafted what seemed to be the platform for victory as they put on 78 to take the score to 114 before yours truly found the only available deep fielder from a juicy full-toss to depart for a rusty 22. Eddie soon notched up his fine fifty but could not see the side home, departing for 57 to the Carnegie Kiwi, Wauchope. As Eddie made the long walk, victory was in sight, a mere 28 required from 10 remaining overs with 6 wickets remaining. A walk in the park surely. And a quick walk for Mr Park to and from the wicket soon followed; Martin turned to Stone; Lindsay gave us brief hope, but suddenly it was around 5 an over required.

The Carnegie deliveries shifted wider and the MDCC airshots got wilder. Four required off the final over, the winning draw had already been secured. Darryn clubs a single first ball. Chris swished and missed "wide" ones once-twice-thrice. A single off the penultimate delivery left Kiddo facing glory or despair with 2 to win. The watching Muffs slump in despair as only a bye is taken. Scores level and a winning draw scant consolation for 10 points thrown away. The mood was so down-beat even the after-match Muffs' photoshoot for a team picture was cancelled.

MDCC 15 points. Carnegie 6 points.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling - Dunfermline Carnegie 155-8 52 overs

MDCC Batting

PAUL SCHOLES DAD SPANKS "MUFFS"

Match 4 - Sat 19 May 2001 - Freuchie

MDCC 1s were given a timely lesson in the arts of chasing a total by the Fifers' top order in a run-fest at Freuchie.

Set 207 to win in 50 overs, Freuchie shrugged off the early loss of Sutherland's stumps to a speared delivery by Richie Sorrell, to cruise to a comfortable 8 wicket victory. Muffs found the opener Wallace and veteran of That Lord's game and possible father of Paul Scholes, "Jasper" Irvine, in unstoppable form with 89 n.o. and 84 apiece. Jasper perhaps only denied a century by a wicket for Norman Allan resulting from Shielsy's cleavage catch. None of the Muffs attack were spared the cosh on a flat wicket where the short Freuchie boundaries earnt full value for strokemakers. Pick of the bunch was Richie Sorrell's 12.1-1-36-1; with Norman Baikie's brief but economical spell of 3 overs that only cost 9. Muffs managed to make their task harder by spilling two important chances.

Earlier, the day had started promisingly enough for MDCC with early contributions of 23 from Knight (lucky to be at the wicket after his earlier decision to give Bala a tour of Fife mining villages and even an encounter with a Sherman Tank) and 16 from Stone including a thunderous six. Westy followed suit with another lofty leg-side blow before getting too vertical to depart with 20. Shiels soon departed peg before and then Bala showed increasing fluency with the bat before perishing to yet another run out incident for a fine 30. The Captain took the starring role with a flurry of strokemaking and even a defensive shot on the way to his half-century. Crucially he could not add to this and although Baikie (15) and Park (25) saw the total beyond 200 there was a feeling that even securing maximum batting points may not have been a par score. Hopes were raised by news of Freuchie's previous week's total of only 66. Hopes quickly disappeared as did the gathering shower-clouds as the increasingly desperate Muffs outfielders' rain-dances had the opposite intended effect. A harsh lesson indeed for MDCC only comforted by a fine tea though without sight of pie.

MDCC 6 points. Freuchie 25 points.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Batting

MDCC Bowling - Freuchie 2 208-2 45.1 overs

CUP FINAL DAY LETDOWN

Match 5 - Sat 26 May 2001 - V MITRE at Inch Park

Bright sunny conditions and fairly, surprisingly even, warm conditions greeted the teams at the Inch on Cup Final Saturday. We rose to the occasion about as much as Hibs and, after being put in, were quickly 8-2 in the fifth over. An abundance of grass clippings slowed the outfield to a ridiculous extent, but even that could not mask the tentative nature of the next 15 overs. This saw MDCC progress to 20-4, thanks to the attritional batting of Knight and Brian Marshall.

Scoring was minimal and wickets continued to tumble with Knight (42), Darryn Kidd (16) and our 12th man extras (18) providing the basis of our meagre 103 all out. Mention must be made of Dave Fisher's enterprising 10 not out at the end, which gained us a point and frustrated Mitre's attack. Mitre, in reply, got off to a quick start and were 33-0 off 10 overs. 10 runs and 3 wickets later, Mufs smelled a chance. Missed catches were unfortunately our downfall as our bowlers engineered chance after chance. Richard Sorrell (3-31) and Norman Allan (3-24) shared the wickets as we went down by 4.

MDCC 4 points, Mitre 25 points

ANDY KNIGHT

MDCC Batting

MDCC Bowling Mitre 104 for 6

SUPER SORRELL PUTS STIRLING TO THE SWORD

Match 6 - Sat 2 JUNE 2001 - V STIRLING COUNTY 2

A much needed win for MDCC1s was achieved at struggling Stirling to ease any worries of slipping into a relegation dogfight.

The main stars of the show were Murdo McLeod with 69, ably supported by Bala (36) in an opening stand of 104, and then a devasting spell of 14-2-38-7 from Richie Sorrell to rout Stirling's batsmen, surely one of the biggest local slaughters since a certain Wallace and (Grommit?) Mr Bruce were on the scene.

Andy Knight weighed in with an unbeaten 49 - the latter-day hero Sorrell gracefully sacrificing himself in an attempt to gain Andy his fifty off the last ball of the innings. The skipper was less sympathetic and bemoaned a period of becalming at 3 and 4 (Knight partnered in his crime against batsmanship by Shiels with a characteristically one-dimensional 24) after the departure of Murdo and Bala in swift succession. The skipper indeed blamed the dehabilitating psychological effect of the Knight/Shiels impasse on his own rapid tame and rather lame demise. Murdo had earlier demonstrated his keen regard for the advancement of the fairer sex in cricket by battering Stirling's Scotland Women's team player, Keri Anderson, in a venomous and savage single-over assault of 3 fours and a maximum. Mrs Macleod would be wise to beware of the rampant Murdo. The MDCC total advanced to 233 for 7 with some clubbing from Lindsay 11 (one six) and Parky (17) in support of Andy who got into his stride.

A fine tea was enjoyed, particularly the variety of cake and that given the Stirling 3s were still playing, there was an opportunity to eat some of their allocated cake as well. Once again no pie for the MDCC travelling troupe.

Then the real party piece started with the Richie Sorrell show. Bala took three catches, one a miraculous gonad-saving take from silly point. Parky had a wonderful one-stump run-out strike disallowed when the sub-keeper unwittingly dislodged a bail. Stirling's youngsters showed some fight (and much potential) at the end but the innings ended in the 35th over on 143, a victory for MDCC by 90 runs. A well deserved MoM award to Richard and jugs all round. And beer. Hurrah!

MDCC 25 points. Stirling 6 points.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Batting

MDCC Bowling - Stirling County 2 143-10 34.3 overs

NORMAN CONQUEST OF ACADEMICALS

Match 7 - Sat 9 JUNE 2001 - V EDINBURGH ACADEMICALS

A case of anything Sorrell can do Stormin' Norman Allan can do better as MDCC bowlers again enjoyed success, this time at the expense of the hapless Accies batters, swept aside for 43?. Norman finished with 7 Accy scalps to ensure a quick finish to the game, aided by Lindsay Towns' brutal bludgeoning of the shell-shocked Accies bowling to wrap up victory in the rain in just under 4 overs and not far past 3 o'clock. Praise where praise is due to Accies for carrying on in the inclement weather. Full report to follow once details hit the web-desk.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling - Accies 2 43-10 30 overs

MDCC Batting 44 for 0

RAIN!

Match 8 - Sat 16 JUNE 2001 - V CORSTORPHINE

Only one winner rain and a proper chance to sleep off hangovers.

Mufs Slump as Grangemouth Have Final Say

Match 9 - Sat 23 JUNE 2001 - V Grangemouth

A close game but despite the best efforts of the Mufs attack, Grangemouth grind out victory by 4 wickets albeit with only 1 over to spare. Full report to follow when Kidd or Knight ever bother to write it....come on Andy, you got a 50 ! ... at last here's the rest.... This was a game we should have won. We notched 171, with Andy Knight scoring 50 exactly - including 2 sixes in successive deliveries over cover and deep mid wicket. However he was dropped 3 times, including a hilarious juggling effort by their keeper when on 47. We didn’t bowl as well as we had been, and Grangemouth earned their win by 4 wickets, albeit with only 1 over to spare.

MDCC Batting 171 all out - 49.2 overs

MDCC Bowling - Grangemouth 172 for 5 - 49.3 overs

Crushing Victory for Mufs Ones

Match 10 - Sat 30 JUNE 2001 - V Carlton

Yet another match report has gone missing on its way to the Web-desk, perhaps our carrier-pigeons are being shot down over enemy territory ... anyway Murdo starred with a sublime 96 (before breaking his wicket with his helmet...silly sod). Paul, Lindsay and Knighty decided to be copy-cats by each scoring 36. The resulting mammoth 245 was far too much for Carlton, destroyed for 71 by Norman A with a five wicket haul for 31, plus 2 apiece for Richies' Sorrell and Park (an extraordinary 5.2-4-1-2 in the Parkie's swansong???).

MDCC Batting 245 for 5 - 45 overs

MDCC Bowling - Carlton 71 all out - 28.2 overs

No Play - Rain

Match 11 - Sat 7 JULY 2001 - V Boroughmuir

Rain!

No Play - More Rain

Match 12 - Sat 14 JULY 2001 - V Dunfermline Carnegie

Rain Again!

"Len" and "Sickie" see off Freuchie

Match 13 - Sat 21 JULY 2001 - V Freuchie

The Ones restricted Jasper and the rest of a weakened Freuchie crew to 129 all out off near 50 overs on a sticky-dog with fine bowling from Richie Sorrell (14-2-28-4); Norman(who-is-called-Norman... errr... see below)Allan (15-5-29-1); Dave Fisher, taking the key wicket of Jasper who was accumulating steadily to a 50, with 13.2-0-52-3; and a steady contribution from Norman(who-is-called-John)Baikie of 6-0-12-0. Webby ("Sicknote") added to his reputation as having a body-most-destructable by collecting yet another injury by unwisely deciding to 'keep to Richie using his knee-cap.

Batting started well enough despite early loss of Lindsey, with Bala and Prasad adding 44 for the 2nd wicket. An alarming slump to 74-5 saw Mufs threaten to snatch defeat from jaws of victory. But wise heads of youth and not-so-youth prevailed as an ice-cool Andy "Len" Hutton (26) and a shamblin'/hobblin'technical-disgrace of a batsman, "Sicknote" Shiels (20), saw Mufs to the cusp of victory with a 50 stand before both departed to make it just a little bit exciting at the end. John-Norman B destroyed any lingering Freuchie hopes with a trademark bludgeoned cover drive for the winning boundary.

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling - Freuchie 129 for 8 (all out) 49.2 overs

MDCC Batting 132 for 7 - 46.2 overs

Mighty Murdo but Mitre hold on

Match 14 - Sat 28 JULY 2001 - V Mitre

A very best of the draw for the Mufs with the stars of the show being the form men, Murdo (59) and Norman Allan (15-3-42-5).

Mufs shrugged off the early loss of Bala and built a solid base with a stand of 87 between the dominant Murdo and scratchy but steady "Sickie" Shielsy (24) who both departed in successive overs. The Old Mother Hubbard (30) and Lindsay T (28) pushed the score on with a stand of 54 and then the rest of the middle order chipped in (John-Norm B the pick with a fearsome 17) to take the score to a round 200 off the 50 to register max batting points.

Mitre never looked like threatening too much, particularly when a change of ends saw Norman Allan slot back into his normal miserly and destructive rythym to claim yet another Michelle; his second spell being a superb 9-3-12-4. Some uncharacteristic long-hops in his first spell had seriously put the silly-pointing Sicknote at further risk of yet more injury- one fearsomely struck pull shot solidly headered back at the bemused batsman. Thankfully a helmet was worn. However, a dropped chance they all cried, harshly. Richie Sorrell bowled tightly for little reward (15-7-24-1), and John-Norman took 2 wickets. But we couldn't quite winkle them out.

Webbie-Sickie

MDCC Batting 200 for 8 - 50 overs

MDCC Bowling 158 for 8 - 50 overs

Gallant Knight puts the "Dogs" to the sword

Match 15 - Sat 4 AUG 2001 - V Stirling County

A double was achieved over the Dogs (their nickname honest!) and vital maximum points obtained to keep Mufs in the promotion chase.

Stirling opener Cilliers (43) looked dangerous and took a liking to "On-the-Buses" Simpson, promoted to fill vacant bowling shoes with the absence of the Deadly Duo - Rich and Norm on hols. However, much was aerial and it was only a matter of time.... his demise followed a rash decision to hook a cunning full and straight-one from Dave "The King" Fisher. Dave (an excellant 15-4-33-3) and another of the Two's emigrees, Phil St Rogers (15-2-34-1), exacted a vice-like grip on the Dogs and Stirling took 25 overs to score another 50 runs, their 'keeper Fuller boring us silly with 49 from 42 overs. Surely not batting for a draw when batting first? Darryn returned to pick up the woolly-bearded wicky's wicket to add to his earlier one, John-Norm bagged one, and the Baggie Knight got a solitary over - stunned to be removed though he did it to me too mate, last week - web-ed. The Stirling captain trudged off confidently declaring to me that 165 was enough with his "strongest" bowling attack. I larfed at the twat.

Bala and Murdo got us off to a good start with another 50 opening partnership before Murdo went too aerial for 24. Bala and the Knight-Rider put on another 50 before Bala went for 39. Sickie Shiels (yes lil ol' me) didn't trouble the scorers much (errr..1), Paul (17) supported Knighty to take us to the cusp and Lindsay brought it all to an end with two large sixes. Andy remained not-out for a fine 53. Victory achieved in some comfort in the 44th with the loss of only 4. Good work fellas.

MDCC Bowling - Stirling 165 for 7 - 50 overs

MDCC Batting 168 for 4 - 44.2 overs

Accies 'Ammered

Match 16 - Sat 11 AUG 2001 - V Edinburgh Academicals

A fine display of bowling from Mufs saw Accies comprehensively defeated at Raeburn Park. Supremely economical bowling from Alan Hogg (7-5-3-0) and The Fisher King (15-6-14-2) paved the way for the star of the show Phil "Dino de" Rogers (don't ask) who claimed 4 for 19, and denied a Pfeiffer by some extraordinary street-theatre style juggling in the slips. Rogers wicket celebrations become more Brett Lee like. John-Norman gave able support claiming 2 for 12, one a superb catch by Dave. Accies only mustered 49.

However, it was not quite the walk in the park as first thought as Accies had the nippy first-teamer Long opening. Some early wobbles with the loss of Murdo, Lindsay and Paul were overcome by a stand between Bala (15 n.o.) and The Knight Rider (10 n.o.) who defied a painful smack on the arm. Poor petal!! Anyway, Bala sees us home. Hurrahs all round.

MDCC Bowling - Accies 49 all-out (8 wkts) - 39.2 overs

MDCC Batting 50 for 3 - 20.5 overs

Pictures of our Heros in their full glory (sort of)....apologies that some are a bit skewy- will sort in due course (blame B**ts' crappy software). Web novices note - for extra insulting commentary on the photos, hover your mouse (and I don't mean a rodent) over the picture....

Andy Knight looking jolly chuffed with himself as he's kept in front of Murdo

A cheerful Murdo MacLeod secretly cursing Mr Knight

Hoggy in MCC textbook pose

Stomach in... chest out Rogers you horrible little man...

JNB doesn't like getting his photo taken apparently

The Fisher-King, scorebook in hand as ever.

Sickie demonstrates the infamous stance necessary to play THAT shot

A cheery Mr Towns... victory was close by now

High-brow Saturday reading material

A rosy-cheeked skipper still looks grumpy even though we are hammering them

Charley-Bala shows his class

Bala waits his turn... a heroic knock awaits him

Rain ends play as Mufs battle on a sticky-dog

Match 17 - Sat 18 AUG 2001 - V Corstorphine

Rain claimed yet another game as the heavens opened at tea-time to wash out play.

The Muirhouse wicket is a bit of a sticky-dog as the Mufs opening pair of Knight and Kidd kick us off. Kiddo is in good aggressive form but the pressure of the head-to-head for top run-maker with Murdo tells on Knight as a wild-one leads to his early departure. Bala goes for 4 shouldering arms somewhat unwisely to one that came back sharply. Kidd and Lindsay push the score on, Kidd having an extraordinary let-off when their keeper drops a skier. His extra life doesn't last long and goes for a useful 21. Paul departs not long after for 1, Lindsay clubs a trademark 6 before being caught for 28, "Len" Hutton perishes bravely charging the spin-attack for 10 and the Mufs express is in danger of derailment at 78 for 6. Then Mufs very own SAS (Sicknote and Sorrell) grind the team into three figures with a stand of 31. Sicknote gets a half-track grubber of a ball and ruefully departs for 14. Dino de Rogers follows three balls later without troubling the scorers. But Richie keeps us going, ably supported by the Fisher King. Richie remains not out on 24 and Dave 8 as the heavens open up on us just as the 50th over is up.

Teas are fine - usual pie fest (and eggy sarnies just to give a bit of variety to the ham and cheese ensemble.) The game is scrubbed as the rain worsens leaving us to contemplate an early start to the beer.....

MDCC Batting 130 for 8 - 50 overs

Its Grim oop Grangemouth as Mufs Promotion Dream is Shattered

Match 18 - Sat 25 AUG 2001 - V Grangemouth

The day started full of optimism as the Team gathered at the Murrayfield Hotel before setting off for the final clash. A victory could still take us up. Murdo and Knighty looking forward to a head-to-head shoot-out to take top batsman spot for the Ones, Murdo confidently declaring that we should bat first so he could get a Ton. Even Sickie was on time and half-sober. Hurrah! Surely the day will be ours and we would revel in glorious victory later. Or so we thought.

Then our world began to collapse around us. Things started badly when Mother, who was leading the convey of cars, decided to "avoid Corstorphine" and instead find greater traffic-jams at East Craigs. Doh! After a series of indignant mobile phone calls (Dazza) we make our way through and off again. Amazingly we find the ground with little difficulty with Norman's maps (Lindsay confesses that he knew the way anyway as we draw in- so we had worried needlessly). Dazza gives us a stirring rallying cry... the full glorious text being "Lets Kick Butt!". We stride out in great heart to inspect the square. The pitch is soft, the outfield lush and wet. Definitely a toss to win and an opposition to insert. So Dazza calls it wrong... the cricketing gods are disgruntled with us perhaps...

In we go... and the drizzle starts. Bala defends the first over admirably, the ball seems to be darting and skidding a bit. Now over to the Rev.M MacLeod. A straight-ball is delivered. Murdo strides forward to meet it. Will he defend? ... will he smash it back over the bowler's head and strike a vital psychological blow. Alas no. The cricketing gods are now in full uproar as the only blows struck are his bat striking his pad thus leaving a nice gap for the ball to strike into the stumps. Stunned disbelief from the side-lines. But our spirits rally as our own white Knight strides out to the crease. However, barely an over later the vanquished Knight trudges forlornly back, his castle plundered, his teammates in distress, and the only maiden being a wicket one.

With the premier MUFS batters contributing 0 between them the team turned next to Mother Hubbard for salvation. But for Bala, Mother brought only damnation as a mix-up saw even the nimble Indian stranded and run out. Now for Plan D (D for Desparation) as out strode Sickie to the quagmire. Grangemouth have seemingly done their homework and plugged the leg-side, negating our "French (piss) Artiste"-looking one's favoured swish to leg off middle stump. But Mother hits a six and the biggest stand of the day for MUFS is underway. Unfortunantly this highest stand reaches only 9, yes nine. Mother swishes down the leg-side and is caught behind. 14 for 4 was not in the script, surely. But alas, the cricketing gods turn the knife further. Sickie is sickened again to get another half-track grubber and departs leg-before. 18 for 5. But now we have our big hitters at the crease. Will the fates turn as they hit us out of trouble? Oh no... Kiddo cuts hard, the fielder dives, the fielder takes a blinder. We begin to realise this is not going to be our day.... realisation turns to certainty as John-Norman B is caught next ball. 24 for 7. What have we done to deserve this? Lindsay seems to be our last hope and bravely tries to play his shots. Can Richie support him? Uh-oh... he goes back and is rapped in front, Bala shows him the finger. 31 for 8. Now its Dave's turn. A shooter accounts for his stumps and its 32 for 9. Stormin' Norman Allan to the rescue? He never faced a ball as Lindsay's brave knock is ended as the ball flicks his bails. We stare in disbelief at the scoreboard. What happened!!

We quickly turn round and Dazza rouses his troops with a rallying cry that we can do the same to them on this pitch! "Be positive" he cries (volume 2 of his inspirational speeches published shortly). All we need to do is keep it full and straight and let the pitch do its worst....however, Richie hasn't read the script and proceeds to bowl bouncers to Whitton who clubs them to the boundary. 25% of our total lost in 2 balls. But fear not. The Norman-Knight combination come up trumps first ball as the other Grangemouth opener clubs a short one straight to Andy. Hope springs eternal. But the game begins to slide despite the best efforts of our bowlers, but then John-Norman joins the attack. Suddenly a lifeline... J-N bowls a jaffa and the opener's off-stump is disturbed. 22 for 2. Can we rattle them? Yes we can. Grangemouth find the pitch as hard going as we did and Norman Allan weaves his magic. A sharp catch from Mother and its 24 for 3. Johnston, the leading Div 3 batsman goes for a big-swish only for Norm to re-arrange his stumps. 24 for 4. Five balls later an lbw. We leap like synchronised salmon in delight. 25 for 5. Is a miracle about to happen? Sadly not as the two Grangemouth men who did all the damage with the ball (Robertson and Bailey) steer Grangemouth home.

We try to comfort ourselves with the thought of a season well-fought, next year we can only get stronger. Knighty's bottle of bubbly is quaffed with vigour anyway. We congratulate Norman as he has pipped his Grangemouth rival for leading wicket-taker (well done fella). Some fun and games are had with Norman's digital camera... piccies to follow. Then its showers, tea and beer time.

A final thought from "webby". A heartfelt thank-you to all those that gave me plenty of daft things to write about... particularly that Sicknote idjit...oh that's me innit. I hope I have not offended you all too greatly (just wait till next year chaps...)

MDCC Batting 32 for 10 - 21.1 overs

MDCC Bowling - Grangemouth 33 for 5 - 14.2 overs

More pictures of our Heros looking decidedly cheerful despite getting twatted by Grangemouth....

MUFS 1X1 circa 1901

Gone a bit flat but tasty all the same

A crazed mutant MUFF attacks Andy

No wonder they both got a duck on the day... Andy shows off his ball levitating trick...(Competition time, chaps- a prize for best alternative caption!!!)

The MUFS opening terror-twins

The ever reliable MUFS middle-order (and Sickie)

Allan and Sorrell- the Deadly Duo

The before shot... there's something in the air... see next

And after...The chemical atmosphere at Grangemouth has produced a follicle-miracle on Sickie's head

Another b+w (Norman????) team mug-shot

Seconds' Match Reports

OPENING DAY DEFEAT FOR SECONDS

Saturday 28th April 2001-Murrayfield/DAFS 2 vs. Watsonian 3 at the Meadows

By Tom Hothersall

Despite the forecast of showers and the warnings of hail storms on their way from the west, pitch No.2 at the Meadows saw a full game of cricket, most of which was bathed in glorious sunshine. Unfortunately the sunshine was the only thing that was glorious on the pitch.

We got off to a tremendous start in winning the toss, but that was all we were to win that day. We bowled first, and some tight bowling from Messers. Sorrell and Marshall kept the run rate low, but failed to take any wickets. The first bowling change brought a wicket for the captain, (that'll be me!), eventually followed by others for Norm Baikie, and Rich Sorrell & Ian Marshall in their second spells. Norm bowled particularly well throughout his 14 over spell, but by the close of the innings after 50 overs, the opposition had reached 176 for 4, due in part to some rather sloppy fielding.

Still, the wicket was playing as well as could be expected at this time of year, not too many shooting through low, quite an even, if slow bounce, and so we expected to be able to give them a run for their money after tea. And our thanks must go to Mike Sneddon and O'Briens Irish Sandwich Bar for an excellent tea of sandwiches, cakes, sausage rolls and chocolate, beautifully presented on silver salvers with fruit and salad garnish. Unfortunately, there were no drinks to offer the opposition with the tea, but I understand that there are tea making facilities at Roseburn, so that shouldn't be a problem in the future.

So out we came after tea to great applause from the huge crowds that had gathered to watch the match (OK, maybe not!) and immediately got ahead of the run rate with 22 off the first 5 overs. This was mainly due to Rich Sorrell who opened since he had to leave at around 5pm. Strangely enough after banging the ball around for a while and running out his opening partner Breck, Rich was bowled at 5.01pm and scarpered. Unfortunately, his score of 17 was to remain top score, which was made more disappointing by the pretty poor bowling we were facing. I lost count of the number of people out caught off a full toss, many of which should in my opinion have been called as no-balls. But the fact of the matter was a batting collapse fit for an England test team, with just a glimmer of hope towards the end as Ian Marshall and Andy Piggott kept the last wicket alive for 9 overs. In the end we were dismissed for 71, with only two bowling points to show for our efforts, but for all that I think most of us had an enjoyable days cricket.

(Oh yes, if anyone is at the Meadows in the next few days, there's a Frisbee stuck up a tree at the back which you can have if you can get it down, although I don't recommend you use a football to try to knock it out, because they tend to get stuck too!).

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Bowling

MDCC Batting

SECONDS SUFFER SET-BACK IN SUNNY STENHOUSEMUIR

Hothersall's Hot-Shots remained distinctly tepid after another heavy defeat. Full report penned by "Cheesy" himself below...

Saturday 5th May 2001

Stenhousemuir 2 (25pts) Vs. Murrayfield/DAFS 2 (1pt)

A beautiful day, a stunning day. Warm sunshine and clear blue skies. And another crushing defeat for the gallant boys of MD's 2nds.

Things had started badly, with us being one man down (as captain I accept full responsibility. I offered my resignation and was laughed at. It appears that my punishment is to remain captain. Oh well.), then we (OK, I) lost the toss and we went in to bat, opening with Martin Stone and Norman Baikie. But then.........a tremendous start ! 13 off the first over including 2 boundaries for Martin, and we were off and running. After 5 overs we were 26 without loss and looking fine.

This was all according to plan, of course.
[Since we had lost Alan Hogg, Phil Rogers and Ian Marshall from my original line up, we had very little in the way of bowlers other than Norman and Tony. In fact other than Norman and Tony we had me! So therefore we had a team full of batsmen, so we could get a huge score for the bowlers (and me) to bowl at. A cunning plan indeed.]

Unfortunately, and somehow inevitably, there was one tiny flaw in the plan. It relied on the team scoring runs and not getting out. D'oh!

The first wicket left us at 26 for 1 in the 6th, and by the 15th over we were struggling at 44 for 5. There was a brief respite from single figure scores with Satya knocking 23 at No.5 (and having the time of his life by the look of things - I've never seen a bigger grin on anyone's face!), but the collapse continued until we were all out for 93 after 34 overs. Last man standing was Andy Lacey on 10, who assured me he could have carried on batting all day against that attack. Unlike the rest of us obviously. The innings ended on a slightly sour note, with what you might call a minor disagreement over the rules regarding no-balls. (I think I see a recurring theme for the season). But everyone got their chance to bat, everyone got to sit out in the sun for a while, and everyone got a chance to play with the score box.

Which was nice.

Tea was adequate but nothing special. No pies. Does nobody do pies but us?

We went out to field with hope in our hearts, but little real chance with only three possible bowlers. (I'm not quite sure what I would have done if they'd batted past 45 overs!). Still, Tony and Norm put up a great attempt, and were unlucky not to pick up a few wickets each. Both bowled economically, going for 29 and 24 runs off their 10 and 15 overs respectively. But then the skipper came on and got humped for 28 off 5.2 and it was all over.

T.H.

Scorebook figures to follow:

SECONDS SO CLOSE TO FIRST WIN

Saturday 12th May 2001 - Murrayfield/DAFS 2 vs. Largo

Hothersall's Hot-Shots came close to notching up their first win, settling for the best of the draw. Tom's report of derring-do follows...

This can't be right. Another beautiful sunny and hot Saturday in the cricket season? Well I'm not complaining.

Our first proper home game of the season, and with the thought of Muirhouse pies for tea, there was a good feeling about this game from the start. And for the first time in my senior career, we not only had eleven players, but also 2 (yes two) substitutes! Oh happy days!

In fact, I was in such a good mood, that when we lost the toss and were put in to bat, I decided to open the batting myself, along with Brian Marshall. 3rd over, swish outside leg, top edge, out...... Duck....... Bugger.

A poor start, but this brought Paul Hubbard to the crease to hammer the ball around for a while. He and Brian put on 46 with some lovely boundaries before Brian went for 14, closely followed by Paul on 30. This brought another fine partnership, Andy Lacey and Norm Baikie, who put on 54 (top score for Norm with 34). Things continued to tick over quite nicely, everyone chipping in, up to the 50 overs, at which time we were 157 for 9. I took the executive decision to take the extra two overs (they couldn't gain any extra points since we were already for 9) with Phil Rogers and Senthill Kumar in the middle, and they knocked a tremendous 21 off the last two, including a six for Phil (the fifth six of the innings!), who ended up 25 not out.

So the innings closed at 178 for 9, which was remarkable when you consider that in our previous two games combined we had only scored 164. We already had 4 points for the game too, which was 1 point more than we had for the previous two combined. Already a great day and it was only half way through.

Off to tea then, but horror of horrors - chicken pies! Chicken! No Muirhouse meat pies, but chicken! To be honest, the team put on a brave face, acted as though nothing was wrong and tucked into their food. Such courage in the face of diversity! But I know that deep down inside they were hurting, bitterly disappointed to their very core.

But we put all that behind us as we bounded out after tea to try claim the first victory of the season.

Phil Rogers and Ian Marshall bowled well, and kept the openers under control for 10 overs or so, before Phil got them both leaving them at 25 for 2 after 11 overs. I must give Bala a mention for his catch close in on the off side - a full drive off the meat of the bat. Outstanding.

The next two batsmen looked like they were going for the win, and picked up the pace considerably, but Phil it was again who got the breakthrough, with the help of Satya at point.

Then fortunately for us, but unfortunately for them, their no.5 hurt his back and had to retire, and from that point onwards we were on top. Stormin' Norm Baikie was having a much more rewarding day with the ball than in the first two weeks, and he got the key wicket of their no.3 who was on 45. They continued to go for the runs until they were seven down, but then, at 140 with eight overs still to go, they virtually shut up shop. By the time we had them for 9, and the injured player came back out, they just blocked everything, and we just couldn't get that vital last wicket.

A winning draw that could have been a win, but still by far our best performance of the season, 16 points to 8. A much better batting performance all the way down, good solid bowling, and (most) catches being taken. This is what we were capable of and should have been doing for the last two weeks. Well played everyone.

TH

Scoreboard extracts:

MDCC Batting

MDCC Bowling - Largo 156 for 9

VICTORY FOR TOMMO'S TROOPERS - BIG BRI SO CLOSE TO TON

Saturday 19th May 2001 - Murrayfield/DAFS 2 vs. Townhill

The 2nds notched up their first glorious victory of the campaign at Muirhouse. Now Tommy describes the execution of his cunning tactical masterplan by his valiant stormtroopers and how he unleashed Bwian...

HEY HEY!!!! Victory at last!!!

Rather cool and overcast, huge black clouds rolling over every couple of hours, a chilly wind, now THIS is a Saturday in the cricket season.

Excellent start, I win the toss. An overcast day, you're thinking, he probably will bowl first, get among them with some movement in the air. But no. After last weeks batting performance, I want to get another big score on the board and make them take it from us.

So in go the new opening partnership of Brian Marshall and Chris Watling to face a bowling attack that contains two of the top three wicket takers in the league.

It's a slow but steady start, with both Brian and Chris cruelly teasing the opposition by skilfully dropping their shots just out of reach of the outstretched arms of the fielders.

It takes 20 overs and 5 maidens, but they put on 38 for the first wicket before Chris is out for14. Paul Hubbard is in and out again in no time, then in comes the skipper. I come in at 39 for 2, and when I am out, 12 overs later, the score is 92. "He must have got a few then" you're thinking. Wrong! Brian's been getting all the runs, and has passed 50 by the time I'm out. But I've done what was needed and given him the strike wherever possible and let him get on with it.

My position is then taken up by Breck Stewart, Andy Lacey and Scott Fraser who all try to hang around with Brian as he racks up the runs (some more successfully than others). But things have slowed down and the runs aren't coming anymore. It's 106 for 6 after 40 overs and Alan Hogg has arrived at the wicket for his first match for his new club. Bang, bang, bang.......it's 145 for 6 after 45 and everything looks much better. Then Allan is out for 28, Brian's in the nervous nineties (although he later assures us he had no idea what he was on) and in comes Phil Rogers (newly ensconced into the position of Vice Captain) to try to get us the extra batting points at 150 and 175. But it's not to be as Phil is run out without facing a ball.

Then it all goes horribly wrong for Brian as in one over he is dropped twice, survives one stumping attempt and then is given out to another stumping............on 99!

Blatant jug avoidance if you ask me!

Again we find ourselves 9 down at 50 overs and still needing runs, so again I take the extra 2 overs, and Ian Marshall and Tony Simpson get us up to a respectable 175 after 52.

Tony Simpson takes the new ball after tea, partnered by Phil Rogers, and it's Phil who gets the first breakthrough in the second over, and indeed the second breakthrough in the fourth over to have them reeling at 3 for 2. Batsmen nos. 3 & 4 put up a struggle and give the appearance of trying to win the game, but they are never really ahead and never dominate the bowling. With four proper bowlers at our disposal, I have the chance to change things around which is a luxury not previously available. Ian Marshall bowls well and gets a couple of wickets in place of Phil, and Alan Hogg gets one in a short spell in place of Tony. Then after a mid-wicket conference between captain, vice and senior pro. (!) we swap Ian to the other end and bring back Phil, and would you believe it he gets 2 wickets in his first over back.. The opposition are crushed. When Ian takes another from the other end it is all but over. Their last man is no more than 11 years old and is soon dispatched.

Victory is sealed in the 92nd over. 25 points to 6

Terrific batting performance from Brian Marshall, supported well, although it would have been nice if some of us could have got some runs too.

Almost all catches held. Fielding looking pretty good in general. A fine bowling attack, the key being the available options, having four bowlers plus myself.

Top stuff.

TH

Scorebook figures

MDCC Batting

MDCC Bowling - Largo 156 for 9

BATSMEN GET OUT AND HERIOTS GET THE POINTS

Match 5 - Sat 26 May 2001 v Heriots 3 - Muirhouse

Tom's tale of shame follows...

Selection difficulties due to some kind of ‘kick-ball’ final in Glasgow gave us problems through the week. More changes even on Saturday morning were a slight headache. And chaos at 12.30 I could have done without. But in the end, thanks to Praveen, we had 11 men by 1.00. A lost toss and we’re batting again, but unlike last week, nobody gets a big score. In fact only Andy Lacey got double figures (17), and the team stumbles to a poor 79 all out. The only remarkable thing about the innings was the fact that nobody got a duck, and the highest score was extras (20). Not good.

It looked like we would have to take tea after the game when we were 28 for 6 after 18, but in the end we batted for 42 overs, and so took tea between innings as usual. But we were obviously early for tea, because the pies weren’t very hot right through. Damn fine tasting though!

We came out after tea with a mountain to climb, and we never really looked like getting to the top. An early wicket for Phil Rogers gave a glimmering of hope, but even though he went on to get another 2, the runs kept coming, and they had overhauled us by their 17th over. It wasn’t a terrible performance in the field, and there were only 2 extras, but with only 80 to get, there was never any real pressure on the batsmen. It’s very difficult to win with a batting performance like we had, and I think the blame lies on all us batsmen who failed with the bat. Overall fielding is good, and Phil and Tony continue to do quality work with the ball, but it’s all to no avail unless we can get some runs on the board.

MDCC 2 points, Heriots 25 points

Scorebook extracts to follow sooooon

MDCC Bowling

MDCC Batting

HOTSHOTS TEPID

Match 6 - Sat 2 June v Westquarter

Tom's further tales of shame follows...

Another home game, another lost toss, another poor batting performance, another loss.

A remarkably slow start saw the mighty Mufs reach 2 for 0 after the first seven overs (six maidens) and by the 12th we were 8 for 2, losing Brian Marshall and Martin Stone, our two fast scoring openers, quite cheaply. Next to fall was yours truly in the 17th with the score on 28, to the first change bowler, Small, in his first over.

Now they do say that mimicry is the highest form of flattery, so I guess I should be pleased that the rest of the team did a good impression of me getting out to Small. (He ended up with 7 for 15 from 13.1 overs). But I think our chances of winning the game might just have been improved if they hadn't!

The one saving grace for the innings was the partnership between Norm Baikie (45 n.o.) and first Pete Anderson (10), then Phil Rogers (16 ) for the 7th and 8th wickets.

Thanks to Norman we managed to scratch our way to 111 (!!!) before the final wicket fell.

(OK, it's at this point that I have to admit that I'm writing this report nearly 2 months after the fact, so although there are probably several thousand eager readers out there just gagging to know how good the pies were, whether they were heated through properly, and what were the sandwich fillings - I'm afraid I've no idea.
I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to those of you who have been disappointed by this lack of tea report - mea culpa. Due to my laziness you have lost out and I feel terrible about it. Still........I'm sure I'll get over it.)

So, after some kind of tea, we took to the field to defend our total of 111.

A run out in the 4th over had Westquarter at 6 for 1, but the glimmer of hope was soon extinguished by the bat of Rab Sutton (39 n.o.) and various partners as they went on to overhaul what was never going to be a large enough total to defend. In the end the finest efforts of Messrs. Simpson, Rogers, Marshall, and Hogg supported by some good tight fielding was enough only to slow the run rate down, so that it took until the 96th over before the winning run was scored ( despite the hundred having come up in the 89th).

We did field with only 10 for a large chunk of the game, after Norm Baikie decided to take a slip catch in the manner of a Vulcan greeting, unsurprisingly ripping the skin between his fingers at the same time. Held the catch though!

Overall this was another game that we lost through our batting rather than fielding, and we're going to have to get into the habit of either winning the toss (hey, I'm trying!) or racking up some big scores, because anything less than 150 is rarely going to be enough. Hmm.......sounds familiar......have I mentioned our poor batting before?

Scorebook figures :

MDCC Batting 111 all out

MDCC Bowling Westquarter 112 for 4

RAINY CAKE FEAST

Match 7 - Sat 9 June v Stirling County 3

Web-desk eagerly awaits Tom's tidings when he returns from foreign shores...

Won the toss, put them in, rained off after 11 overs.

Didn't call the game off 'til four, so we still got teas!

Fine selection of cakes.

Scorebook figures

Bowling:

T Simpson 6 overs 1 mdns 11 runs 0 wkts
P Rogers 5 overs 0 mdns 18 runs 0 wkts

WASH OUT

Match 8 - Sat 16 June 2001

Rained off!

Rogers in Turmoil

Match 9 - Sat 23 June 2001

Web-desk waits in anticipation for MDCCs Media Spin Doctor Rogers' attempt to explain away in a wordy web of intrigue and disinformation the game that got away and his role in this debacle of government felling proportions. Will the Minister for Sport resign they shriek, press hounds baying for blood? hold the front page.. report has now arrived...

The Second Team's dressing room at 8 o'clock was not a happy place. We knew we'd lost a great chance to boost our flagging season against the league's bottom side. Not for us the celebratory pints in the dubious local pub - instead we made the solemn trip across the water knowing that we were now at the foot of the table.

It started to go wrong at 10 o'clock on Thursday night. Before then we had a sound side, packed with bowling and a very strong top five. By 12.15 on Saturday in the Murrayfield Hotel car park, 1st team call-offs and a no-show had us down to 10 men and far fewer bowling options. Senthil Kumar did however manage to phone a friend, persuade him to forsake the usual Saturday delights of sofa, slippers and the shops in Gorgie Road and give us a full team.

So a late arrival by the Acting Skipper and three team-mates, a lost toss and in we went. A steady start from Mark Watson (27) and Brian Marshall (17) saw us looking at a possible 200, especially when Alan Hogg came in at 4 and set about the bowling. Mindful of a heel injury which would later prevent him bowling (or moving), he clubbed a series of boundaries and registered an excellent club best 71.

Some useful support came from Senthil, his new recruit Shreedhar and Jagdesh - the latter was run out after warnings by the bowler about backing up, to the disapproval of the massed car mechanics at the Exhaust Centre End. However, when Alan went with 24 needed from 3 overs to get the 5th batting point, the late order hitters failed to reach the target. The Vice-captain's third ball duck and the Count's second baller left Ian Marshall to hit a couple of lusty blows to help us to 189.

The confidence of posting our top score of the season was tempered by the easy-going artificial surface and the knowledge that we hadn't taken full advantage of Alan's great knock.

However, Tony Simpson's short innings had left him fired up for the attack. Two quick wickets in two balls were scant reward for a venomous spell of pace and application. His opening partner could not give him the support needed, however, and did well to get the wicket that had them at 18 for 3. A win was surely within our grasp, but still plenty to do.

The new batsman went for his shots and even a canny spell from 1st change Marsh' could not stop the flow of runs. When Ian deservedly got his man, it brought in their last quality player, the division's leading run scorer. Try as we did, we couldn't get him or his partner out and the writing was on the wall. Nick McLean and Jagdesh showed some promise with late spells, but the target was achieved with only one or two real scares.

Our fielding - with some notable exceptions - was none too clever and catches went begging. Fair to say, a fit Alan Hogg would have taken at least one of his two valiant attempts, but others should have done better.

Spinmeister Rogers

Scorebook figures

MDCC Batting 189 all out

MDCC Bowling - Dalgety Bay 190 for 4

A Tale of Shame for Top Order

Match 10 - Sat 30 June 2001 v Watsons3

Full report follows but a shameful batting display undermined the Twos who succumbed too easily to Watsons despite tigerous bowling and fielding. Web-eds batting performance on his debut in Div 4 is better left forgotten, as were 2 other of his top 4 colleagues....

Lost the toss again. Is it me ? Should I let someone else toss up for me ?

So we're batting first again, and our openers, Brian Marshall and Chris Watling are confidently striding out to the middle in the bright Craiglockhart sunshine.

Three balls later and Brian is sheepishly walking back having been bowled for a duck. This brings out our first team star (the web master himself) who's going to strengthen our line up and put an end to the pathetic batting performances of old.

Six balls later, the score is 2 for 2 off 2 as Sicknote Shiels is bowled by a very similar yorker to the one that bowled Briansorry Tom- web-ed. In comes Andy Lacey, newly promoted up the order, who manages to last a few overs but is only on 2 when he is again bowled and we are 13 for 3 after 6.

This brings the skipper to the crease, and a partnership of sorts begins to grow with Chris, who's still there watching the wickets tumble from the other end. A rapid 18 from myself brings the score along but when I am caught, things slow down with Phil Rogers and Chris trying again to consolidate things. But Phil is out for 4, soon followed by Chris for 25, and things are really looking grim.

The new batsmen are Andy Hutton and Graeme Tait. The less said about Graeme's dismissal the better ( never a good idea to leave a straight ball that's on the stumps!) but Andy, freshly promoted from the Thirds, bats excellently, scoring a very valuable 24 not out, and looking like a great prospect for the future. Ducks from Tait and Nick Mclean are followed by a sumptuous 16 from Tony Simpson, but he is soon out, closely followed by Ian Marshall for another duck leaving us all out for 96 after just 37 overs.

Yet again a poor batting performance against bowling that really wasn't that great, and all over so quickly that the teas aren't ready yet and we turn straight around and play until four o'clock. A rather dull 10 overs or so, leaving them on 13 without loss at the break.

Fabulous teas for chocoholics, and it is a bunch of fat bloaters who waddle out to the field to defend the rest of our dismal total.

Tony Simpson bowls as tightly as ever, but without success, going for 18 off his 8 overs. More success for Ian Marshall, although a little expensive in his last few overs at 2 for 48 off 15. Pick of the bowling goes to Phil Rogers with 2 for 16 off 10.

The fielding is tight enough, and the bowling pretty good, but with only 97 to get and 63 overs to do it, there isn't exactly a great deal of pressure on the batsmen with a required run rate of 1.5. They take their time, but have the game won by the 72nd over.

I'm not going to say it again. We know what has to be done. We just have to do it.

Scorebook figures:

MDCC Bowling - Watsons 98 for 4

MDCC Batting - 96 all out

Rain washes out play

Match 11 - Sat 7 July 2001 v Stenhousemuir

No play due to soggy pitches.

Twos Going Loco in Aca...Largo

Match 12 - Sat 14 July 2001 v Largo

I awoke on Saturday morning to the sight and sound of the pouring rain, continuing from the night before, and began to plan my day. Stay in bed until midday, go to the pub for lunch, stay there until closing time. That kind of thing. Oh yes, better just phone Largo to confirm that the game is off..............what do you mean it's not raining there? The ground's fine? The game's still on? OK!

The team who met at the Murrayfield were convinced that by the time we got to Largo it would be chucking it down and we would have to turn right round and come back. But as it turned out, the pitch was fine, it didn't rain all day, and we played our best game of the season.

For starters I won the toss (shock horror!) so we fielded first. We were in control from the very first ball, with excellent bowling and fielding all round. The two top run scorers in the division are Walker and Mowat of Largo, but by the 10th over they were 18 for 2, Walker out for 0, bowled by a pacey Simpson, and Mowat trapped leg before for 1 by a very swingy Rogers.

We kept up the pressure, through the innings, with continued excellence in the field. Diving stops, terrific catches (especially Andy Hutton - outstanding day in the field), and quality tight bowling meant that Largo never got going, with only two of their number getting into double figures. Bowling performance of the day must go to Ian Marshall, who bowled maiden after maiden, sneeking a wicket every now and then, to finish up with 3 for 10 off 12 overs. He enjoyed himself so much I had to virtually prise the ball out of his hand to give someone else a bowl! But everyone bowled well, and all who bowled got some success.

And with the score on 70, we received the omen that told us we couldn't lose - Martin Stone took the catch to dismiss the final batsman. For anyone who doesn't know, Stoney has dropped the last 9 (I think it's 9, might be more!) chances that have come his way, so we had double reason to celebrate.

Tea was taken in the church hall, no pies involved but a fine spread non the less.

Now for once the boot was on the other foot, and it was the opposition with an indefensible score, and us with all the time in the world to get it. So it was with a new confidence and belief in certain victory that Chris Watling and Martin Stone strode out to the crease and dominated the bowling almost immediately. Martin was knocking the ball about like a man possessed, and when Chris was out for 5 after 5 overs we were already on 30. Chris's wicket brought Yours Truly out to the middle, and Martin and I moved the score along to 47 before he was caught behind after 15 overs on 37. Alan Hogg then came out to join me and we were cruising to victory when I managed to get myself caught with the score on 68. Still, Alan and Andy Hutton finished it off, and for only the second time in the season, we were winners.

How glad were we that it wasn't raining in Largo?

Scorebook figures:

MDCC Bowling - Largo 70 all out

MDCC Batting

Rain washes out play- Again

Match 13 - Sat 21 July 2001

More rain, rain, rain.

TRIUMPH OVER TETCHY HERIOTS

Match 14 - Sat 28 July 2001- v Heriots

An apology from Webby- I had this game down as basically "Even more rain". It was of course not rained off but in fact another marvellous chapter in the long-running tale of cricketing warmth and sportsmanship that we always get from our Heriots friends...Tom's tale follows now...

How can one man lose the toss so many times in one season? Still, they’ve only got 10 men, plus one lad’s father, who asks if it’s okay for him to not field but bat at 11 if needed, to which I agree without a problem. Guess what, we’re batting first again, but today we are playing on the Heriots first’s pitch - which has covers! The wicket is bone dry, rock hard, and perfect for batting.

Martin Stone and Mark Watson start us off with a healthy stand of 41 before a rather bizarre run out sees both batsmen diving for the same line as the ball comes in, then Mark pelting up to the other end, just too late to save himself. So he’s out for 17, bringing in Brian Marshall, who continues where Mark left off. The score has moved on to 69 when Stoney gets himself bowled for 33, and Eddie Clark enters the fray for the first time as a 2nd team player. Things continue apace, with everyone contributing to the healthy score and run rate. Brian is next to go for 26, closely followed by the Hoggster for 6, then Eddie and Andy Lacey put together a partnership of 49 before Eddie is bowled for 42. A quick 17 from Praveen helps a stand of 35 with Andy, and we end up with 197 for 7 after 52. (If you’re wondering why the skipper didn’t bat, I can tell you it was because he was having too much fun in the score box - a real score box with strings to pull and everything!)

So it was a happy bunch who went in to tea, but a pretty poor tea of cold pies and cold sausage rolls. Out onto the pitch, and the new ball goes to Messrs Simpson and Clark, but immediately there’s a problem, as Tony is no-balled twice in the first over, which goes for 9. (Tony bowled 5 overs in his first spell, 2 no-balls in each over but the 4th, where there was just one. Let me make it quite clear that I’m not accusing their umpire of cheating, I just find it surprising that’s all. He didn’t bowl any no-balls in his second spell, when there was a different umpire). Eddie’s first over is quite tight, but then Heriots openers More and Thomson let rip and the score rockets up to 88 without loss after 14 overs. Then, just as heads were starting to go down, Hoggy does the business, and Thomson is caught by Mark Watson for 45. As so often happens, when one half of a large partnership goes, the other soon follows, and two balls later Hoggy has More caught and bowled for 30. Heriots Captain, Hogarth, was in at number 3, and he knocked a quality 30, but the rest of their batting collapsed away as they gave up on the run chase and tried desperately to hang on for the draw. They failed!

The old guy who said he’d come in at 11 if needed tried to come in at 5 instead, but when we reminded him of our agreement he became abusive, extremely angry, and then took a major strop got into his car and went home. That’s the kind of guy you want in a cricket club. Then there was the umpire who was overheard saying to one batsman "go on there’s a run there....no wait...no not now." Hmmm. My favourite incident was the umpire (mentioning no names!) who was chatting to the batsman when Eddie was trying to bowl. When asked if he would like to finish his conversation before allowing play to continue, he acted in a particularly adult manner by asking the batsman if he thought their conversation was over, and then standing with his arm out for a good 20 seconds although everyone was ready to play.

What a lovely atmosphere that was to play a game of cricket in. I wish I played for a club like Heriots, then I could have that atmosphere every week. Anyway, they were all out for 138, so victory was ours, and boy, did we enjoy that!

MDCC Batting 197 for 8 - 50 overs

MDCC Bowling - Heriots 138 all out

Rain washes out play- Once More

Match 15 - Sat 4 Aug 2001

Why does it always rain on Tom...is it because he's a b*****d Port Fail Supporter...(to the tune of that Travis song... sort of)

Muirhouse Nightmare

Match 16 - Sat 11 Aug 2001 v Stirling County 3s

Loss the toss, so we batted first. We were crap. All out for 50.

Too early for tea, turned straight around. They were pretty crap too. But after 18 overs they had won. 54 for 4.

Had tea. Pies were good.

MDCC Batting 50 all out

MDCC Bowling - Stirling 54 for 4

Rain Halts Play in Relegation Battle

Match 17 - Sat 18 Aug 2001

Match abandoned with them at 108-8 - Praveen did the business with four wickets and a fine "Two Jugs" effort in Bert's

Rain is the Saviour for MUFS Twos

Match 18 - Sat 25 Aug 2001

Rain came to MUFS rescue as we needed to avoid defeat to stay up (probably). After a solid, if rain-soaked opening stand between Mark Watson and Chris Watling, we slumped to 56 for 6 as the conditions worsened. A rain break finally came and their skipper's decision to put sawdust on the batting ends saw the not out batsmen protest and an abandonment. Good work fellas

Thirds Match Reports....well a few...Brian? Andy? Anyone??

NO GAME AS ROSEBURN PITCH TURMOIL CONTINUES

Due to the state of the pitch at Roseburn the 3rd XI game was cancelled.

THIRDS BATTLE IN VAIN AGAINST BORO

Saturday 5th May 2001 v Boroughmuir

The start of a new season. Expectations are high as the (New Model) Barmy Army travel across the city to the god-forsaken place that is Meggetland. But at least the sun was shining.

Stand in skipper quickly loses the toss (no change there, then) and is invited to bat. 7 overs into the new season and things are looking good. But hey, this is the 3rd XI we are talking about here. Big Fraser tries to hit the ball into the Caley Brewery and is bowled. Alan Welch follows very shortly and, showing that he is as keen as ever to bag the illustrious duck trophy, Andy Welch fails to trouble the scorers. Dani & Lawrence decide that they would rather be somewhere else and are both sent quacking, quickly followed by debutante Rob Fotheringham. It is left to old timers Watson & Cummings (at your service, sir) to steady a sinking ship, taking the troops to the first point of the season as the total edges up to 107. Once Neil is gone, there is not really a lot more to say about the issue. Mark stranded on 42 and 107 all out. 74 scored by 2 players and 7 ducks. Normal service has been resumed. Mike Davis picked up 9 wickets for only 14 runs but in reality it was our batting that let us down badly today.

A good tea (benchmark for the rest of the season?) was taken with alacrity and the boys were eager to get in amongst the opposition. But even a pre-match huddle was not enough. The Big Man coming down the hill showed some promise but it was The Don who claimed the first wicket (and our second point) of the new era as Fraser took a good catch at deep square leg to dismiss Dave Kieran. Now we would see what they were made of! Alas, only one more wicket fell as Nigel Harper was bowled by the skip. Although it was encouraging to see Lawrence and Andy W bowling tidily at the end. Boroughmuir were never in any danger of not getting the runs required, but it took them until the 69th over to get there. Refreshments were taken in the rugby club as thoughts turned to the next game against St Modans, with cricket coming home to Roseburn after an absence of a year or so.

MVP : Mark Watson

NO MESSING WITH MODANS AS MDCC3 SUCCUMB

Saturday 12th May 2001 v St Modans

Another defeat for the boys and girls of the valiant Thirds. Report from AP...

It's coming home, It's coming home, cricket's coming home. At the end of the afternoon the Barmy Army were wishing that it would go somewhere else. Another toss lost and once again invited to bat. So predictable. Debuts for junior leaders Andy Hutton, Nick McLean and a welcome return for Chris 'Andy Flintoff' Pearce. And you should know the script by now. Only Neil (14) manages double figures, but Mr Hutton (is your name Len?) showed some potential for a well-constructed 9. As always, with the new laws on wides and no balls applicable, Mr Extras was top score with 29. Well played, sir! But only batting for 25 of the allocated 45 overs and scoring 62 is not the way to win matches. And so it proved with St Modans racking up the runs in less than 12 overs. But we did get another point (hurrah!) as The Don swooped to run out Mr Pollock with a direct hit from square leg. The Don, Mr Hutton and Pollock playing on the same field. Now I would pay money to see that.

MVP : Mr Extras

THIRDS SHOWS SIGNS OF IMPROVEMENT

Saturday 19th May 2001

Another Report from AP...

A much improved performance (probably because your correspondent was not playing) as the likely lads finally bowled a side out to set up the chance of a famous victory at the Meadows. With our natural leader BJ back in the fold, we even managed to win a toss and get the chance to field. Hurrah! A long awaited debut for young Colin, who had looked impressive at pre-season and was keen to make an impression. Early wickets for Fraser (does my tan look look good?) MacDonald, Nick 'Golden Earring' McLean and the skip soon had Morton on the ropes. A great fielding display was eventually rewarded as the last wicket fell in the 45th over for 120. Even Mr West wanted a piece of the action, taking 2 wickets in 2 balls and so nearly getting that coveted hat-trick. The first jug-avoidance of the season.

But you know what happens now. 2 for 1 quickly becomes 4 for 3 as we decide to not bother at all with batting. Only Chris (13), Fraser (12) and skip (24) manage double figures, even outscoring Mr Extras. But there are signs of improvement. Only 6 ducks today compared to 7 last week. Onwards and upwards! The game dragged on until the 84th over, by which time it was only the jelly babies which were keeping everyone awake. All out for 65. Who's next?

MVP : The Skip

NO MERCY FROM MUSLIMS IN MDCC3 MASSACRE

Saturday 26th May 2001 v Muslims

Another tale of derring do from AP...

The sun is splitting the sky. It's Saturday. It's Roseburn. This must be heaven. But in reality it is cricketing hell. Batting first, Muslim racked up 305-5 in 47 long and weary overs. Big respect to The Don who wheels away at the Roseburn End for 13 overs and 3 wickets. But really this team shouldn't be in the Division. Veggie teas taken 'al fresco' before we start batting at 6.10pm. We do our best but are soon 8-5. The lowest score of 15 all out at Leith Links is in severe danger. 24-9 with the likely lads at the crease, looking to bat for 28 overs for the greatest comeback since Lazarus. We last 7, stretching the score to 36 before Mr Martin is bowled around his legs and we are off to the pub. Where we should have been all afternoon.

MVP : Blue Skies & Sunshine

Its a load of Clack

Matchday 6: Clackmannan (Home) - Saturday 2nd June 2001

Clackmannan batted first and the threes made a great start with BJ bowling Mike Nash for zero. Wickets continued to fall and with 31 overs gone Clackmannan had struggled to 85 for 8 wickets. However, a 72 run unbeaten 8th wicket partnership in just 14 overs by J Thomas (42*) and I Donchie (22*) put our visitors in a strong position. BJ with 4-16 and Fraser McDonald were again the pick of the bowlers.

Once again, however, the tea interval seemed to disagree with our batting line up as wickets fell at an alarming rate. Only Fraser with 21 not out and Breck Stewart with 9 made any impression as father and son Nash cleaned up with a combined 7 for 49.

The game was notable however, for the fact that we had two lady players gracing Roseburn Park - our very own Danielle Johnson and Scotland international Alison Ramsay for Clackmannan.

Scores: Clackmannan 155-8 (45 overs); MD3s 59 all out (30 overs)

Points: MD3s 4pts; Clackmannan 25.

MVP: F McDonald (2-38 and 21*)

SOGGY STEW-MELS TAKE LEAVE OF THEIR SENSES

Matchday 7: SMRH 4th XI (Home)Saturday 9nd June 2001

Yet again another tale of derring do, or not as the case may be, follows from Iain Martin...

Under grey skies the threes took to the main pitch at Stewarts Melville hoping for great things. As it happened, SMRH openers MacColl and Robin McQueen raced off to an unbeaten 100 opening partnership in just 22 overs. Andy Piggott made the breakthrough with two quick wickets but the rain became heavier and heavier and we were off.

SMRH wanted to continue the game and refused to call it off despite standing water on the square and continuous black clouds rolling in from the East. Finally, and somewhat grudgingly, they accepted the abandonment and by way of protest, proceeded to play football in their whites in the pouring rain, whilst the barmy army polished off the sandwiches and beer.

One could comment on a public school education and common sense.....

Scores: SMRH 114-2 (26 overs) RAIN stopped play.

Rain

Saturday 16th June 2001

Our valiant Three's were left to munch on their sarnies as the game was washed away.

V FOR VICTORY

Match 9 - Sat 23 June 2001

Triumph and disaster can sometimes be separated by a whisker. The Thirds prevailed in a nail-biter... full glorious report from Andy to follow

Threes Pull Out of Drop-Zone with Back-to-Back Victories

Match 10 - Sat 30 June 2001 v Carlton 3

The Three's helped make it a miserable day all round for Carlton and a double triumph for the Club as they beat Carlton 3s on their own patch. They don't like it up them, these Grange boys....

Full story and scores on the doors to follow when/if someone would care to write them.

Rain washes out play

Match 11 - Sat 7 July 2001 v Boroughmuir 2

No play due to soggy pitches.

A tale of the six, Mr Concave chest and cherry cake....

Match 14 - Sat 28 July 2001 v Muslims

With the somewhat unreasonable claims of the Scottish Executive wanting Mr Piggott to do some work this summer .... (don't they understand that it's the cricket season??) I'll attempt to tell you all about the latest from the Barmy Army.

We ventured down to the Meadows to play the Muslims, knowing that anything better than a 269 run defeat would mark some form of improvement. Our afternoon did not start well when the "parkie" turned up at Roseburn with no key for the storeroom... frantic calls to JKane centre revealed that the key was in the "parkie's" hut and at 1:05pm the Barmy Army were finally off to the Meadows... no great problem as only one member of the Muslim team was present when we arrived!!

This enabled an alien Barmy Army concept of catching practice to be conducted and helped to develop a positive team spirit. Mr Skeldon's diving catches were an inspiration to us all.... is that the right word???

Anyway, Captain BT Cellnet promptly lost the toss and for the first time this season in any game the Muslims decided to field.... Lawrence was seen sneeking off to phone the Hibs ticket office for a block booking as despite a 1:50pm start, making Easter Rd for 3pm was looking a distinct possibility. However, Chris West and Breck Stewart got us off to a steady start before Chris perished for 9 shortly after Muslim took the new ball! Jon Star, making his season debut continued the good work while Breck took up the anchor role cheered on by a typically vocal Meadows crowd... although when these "spectators" sat at mid-on, the umpiring team moved in.... "oaway & get to f***" replied the enthusiastic Aussie female visitor before moving onto the Morton-SMRH game....

Jon and Breck took the score to 48, but both perished in over 24 and 25 respectively. Rob Fotheringham continued his assault on the duck trophy leaving the young guns of Lawrence and Fraser to stabiliase the situation. Indeed, all was going quite well until Fraser launched a slow lob from R Ali for 6. Ralf Ali didn't seem to appreciate this fine shot as the next ball whistle past Fraser's nose!! Ralf proceeded to take 4 for 1 off his next 35 balls as the Barmy Army faded to 82 all out. However, we had batted for the full 45 overs for the first time in the season.

After the usual fine tea supplied by Mr Yaseem from Kirkcaldy, Captain BTCellnet took the new ball at one end while Fraser went for the world record number of wides in one over from the other. Muslim were looking like wrapping up another comfortable win at 31-0 off just 7 overs when all of a sudden, BTCellnet rediscovered his bowling form taking 2 wickets in 3 balls. The first of which came courtesy of a superb Rob Fotheringham catch, taking a skier chest first as if he was a rugby fullback!! We now understand that the 5 pieces of cherry cake Rob consumed at tea saved him from serious injury!! BTCellnet's next 2 overs saw 2 more wickets and the team spirit visibly lifted. Your reporter then joined in the fun by taking 2 wickets clean-bowled and Musim were wobbling.

Unfortunately, our lack of runs proved decisive as Javed smashed the winning runs by way of an impressive boundary.

MD3s 82 all out (45.4 overs) Star 14, McDonald 14, B Stewart 11, R Ali 4-12

Muslim 86-6 (22.2 overs) S Javed 18, M Arshad 15, A Piggott 4-34, I Martin 2-20

MVP: A Piggott

Champagne moment: Rob Fotheringham's catch.

Where There's Life........Viva El Presidente!

Match 17 - Sat 18 August 2001 v Largo 2

On Saturday the 3rds travelled to Largo knowing that even two wins in their last two matches might not be enough to save them from relegation. After an excellent performance against Stewart's Melville 4ths which saw the team get much the better of the draw, there was hope that a first ever win for the 3rds against Largo 2nds could be achieved. The home side included Chris Sayer, a London Road/Murrayfield veteran, now resident in Fife.

After losing the toss and Chris West to the first ball of the innings, Fraser Macdonald and John Star took the score to 46 before Fraser was bowled for a punishing 24 (including one giant six). Breck Stewart and Chris Pearce perished quickly before Star and el Presidente Yelland carried out another rebuilding job. When Star (24) and Lawrence West (0) departed in quick succession there was a danger that the innings might subside but Iain Martin blocked away and helped el Presidente take the score well past the 100 mark. El Presidente was eventually out for 53 - his fifty reached with a straight six of Sayer who collected four wickets. However, the tail of Wilkie, Stewart (junior) and Piggott added valuable runs to take the team to a season's best 136 all out.

fter an ample tea, Largo began their innings and had quickly subsided to 26 for 7. Andy Piggott taking four of those wickets with the aid of two Chris West catches and one from Breck Stewart. Iain Martin had taken three wickets, one with an excellent West catch before Mr Sayer began his assault. It end quickly, thankfully, when el Presidente raced (as quickly as he could) from long off towards extra cover to take a tumbling catch off Martin and young Macdonald then raced in to clean up the last two wickets courtesy of a good Star catch and a jaffa of a yorker. Largo 51 all out and 25 points in the bag.

Iain Martin picked up the Largo man of the match award for his dogged knock and 4 for 15. Largo were gracious losers on a day when the team put in an excellent all round performance.

Rain Condemns Threes to the Drop

Match 18 - Sat 25 August 2001

Rain ended the Thirds hopes of survival and Division 8 now awaits. Hard luck chaps.

MIDWEEK MATCH REPORTS

Mufs Cruise to Opening Midweek Victory

Midweek Match 1 v Currie and Balerno - Tues 8 May 2001

The first midweek game of the year saw victory accomplished comfortably by MDCC with a historic first 50 for the new club scored by Murdo McCleod.

Currie and Balerno managed 111 for 6 off their 20 overs with Fred Robson taking 2 for 8; Murdo McCleod 1 for 5; Skipper Allan 1 for 7; Richard Clark 1 for 21 and Fraser MacDonald 1 for 25.

Murdo took the batting honours with 56 not out, supported by Bala (23 run out) and Ian Shiels (24 not out). MDCC crusing to 112 for 1 off 18 overs. A fine though chilly night but a good enjoyable game. MoM undoubtedly Murdo. Good work fella.

Beer and Sandwiches at the Merchy Castle

Midweek Match ? v Merchiston Castle Staff - Wed 13 June 2001

Epic Report by Norman Allan below....his 38 Volume Autobiography follows soon

Wonderful venue, good weather, entertaining game.

I lost the toss and we were asked to bat (I was going to bat anyway so no change to game plan !)

Bala and Lindsay opened and Lindsay continued where he left off on Saturday against Edin Accies, Bala caught the mood and they put on a swift 79 in 12 overs.

Bala out (44), Lindsay reached his 50, then out (60), a not so swift knock of 28 not out by Andy Knight and a very swift 2 (last ball was the only ball he faced !) from Richard Sorrell comprised the majority of the scoring but sandwiched amongst these was a little "cameo"??!! from Pravin Thottempudi - to be known henceforth as "Vinnie" (blame Andy). Vinnie played all manner of shots, but he didn't hit the ball often and was finally run out - to everyones' amusement - after scoring 11

Innings closed on 157 for 5 after 22 overs.

Merchiston started off fairly well but Richard Sorrell took two early wickets (whereupon his captain amply rewarded him by taking him off) - Dave Fisher was his usual economic self (and took a wicket)- Fred Robson grabbed three quick wickets - including a catch by Lawrence West (Lawrence hasn't had the benefit of knowing Fred in the past and therefore took the catch with no fear of failure - some old DAFS chaps knew better and were holding our breaths for Lawrence's sake (and future mortal existence?- ed)!!!)- but Chris West wasn't so lucky, a missed stumping has ensured Fred will remind him (and everyone else) of it for all time.

Vinnie showed more promise with the ball than he had displayed with the bat, got a wicket and continued to keep us all amused with his appeals and advice - to both teams.

Lawrence, Darryn, Andy and Lindsay also bowled, but without a wicket between them and Merchiston finished on 132 for seven off their 22 overs.

Special mention to Richard Sorrell for his fielding display - for once, Vinnie was speechless!

Well done chaps

Post match hospitality - beer + sandwiches - was generously provided by our hosts amid the ambience of the cricketing pavilion.

I am already taking bribes (sorry, I did mean names) for next year's game at Merchiston.

Norman Allan

Other Results:

Oh and we played some team south of Edinburgh in the Cup and the least said the better...